I’ve Been Meaning To…
Procrastination, perfectionism and getting the compost done
A handful of accomplishment
You know that thing you've been meaning to do? The thing that's been sitting on your mental to-do list for weeks, months, possibly years?
“I’ve been meaning to, but…” the king of all blocks!
Hey, look, I don’t blame you. Not at all! In fact, I wanted to tell you how much I freaking do it, and what I’ve been doing to rebel against this tyrant. A coup, if you will.
I’ve been meaning to sort out the compost. It’s been on my mind for quite some time now.
My current set-up is ok, but I’ve identified some issues that I want to resolve.
Meanwhile, I keep producing kitchen scraps that need somewhere to go, and the worms in the farm can only do so much. So every time I go out there, it’s the same ‘oh yeah, I need to deal with it…’ or ‘ugh I should fix that…’ feeling.
Among the blocks, if you will, or compost-related tasks that were stopping me were:
find an actual compost bin and get a fine mesh for the bottom of said bin, to help stop the mice from getting in. Sort through, chop and prepare my carbon collection, fix the makeshift sifter that became loose, and probably a few others that I can’t think of right now.
All of which would join a cloud of stuff and things that often hangs around with me, usually hovering just above my head. A saboteur of getting anything done.
Work tasks, emails, lots and lots of forgotten admin, batch cooking, finding new work boots, picking up a new creative outlet- you name it.. anything and everything gets sucked into this vortex and turns into a word jumble. A messy cloud of needs, shoulds and wants that can sometimes feel quite overwhelming.
Why is it like that though?
Some of it probably sits under the perfectionism umbrella; having to solve every detail of a project and visualising the end result before I even start it. Not getting something started because I need to get it just right is something I’ve been doing for as long as I can remember.
Having a brain that is a problem-solver, that sees all of the elements all of the time and struggles to prioritise, is definitely a big contributor. The glorious chaos of sparkle-brain.
I came across this online: ‘It doesn’t have to get done, it just has to be perfect; an ADHD proverb’. Ha! Sounds about right.
However they work together, perfectionism, anxiety and general overwhelm are the perfect combo to stop me from actually doing anything but leave me endlessly thinking about it.
Actually doing the thing that waited for me and it taking less than an hour…
Back to the compost.
I didn’t do it at some cosmically aligned time, nor did I solve all the bits that needed attention. My ducks were not- I repeat, not- in a row. But I did it. The sun was out, I had some gardening energy in me and I did it.
In under an hour I emptied, sifted and restarted the compost. It’s not done to perfection and the compost I harvested (all 35L of it!) still needs a finer sieve and time to rest, but it is done! And hopefully this first step will encourage me to do the next (fixing that sieve for a start). Oh, and I even made content for the business socials while at it! Which I am very proud of 💪🏽
This process of shifting from thinking about doing to actually doing is by no means a quick solution, nor will it switch how my brain operates. It’s simply another small step in my grand plan of small steps that slowly accumulate into something more manageable, and me feeling less overwhelmed, more confident, and way more forgiving of self. Doing things imperfectly, enjoying the momentum and capitalising on it to do the next step.
The garden offers us many opportunities to practice this habit, with small physical tasks that can break cycles of paralysis and boost feelings of accomplishment. And it’s the gift that keeps on giving, really. That one thing you do gives so much in return. Happier soil, flourishing plants, buzzing bees and butterflies, a sense of accomplishment and more joyful moments of sitting in your space and admiring what you (and nature) created.